Isn't cynicism bad? Doesn't it hurt and cause loss of intimacy and trust?
Yes, it can be and it does. It can be borne of doubt when that doubt is ignored and swept under the rug, or worse, ridiculed. A doubt that is raised and scorned, or decried as weak faith can bear a crop of cynicism.
Cynicism can be cultivated over an extended period of time if doubts are not shared, or if the individual is not comfortable raising them among their friends or family. Ignoring the existence of doubts, instead of cultivating and addressing, or even encouraging them can be caustic, especially over time.
Intellectual elitism
Cynicism and intellectual elitism, in particular, can be a response to the anti-intellectualism that is plaguing churches today. It is part of the religion vs science "debate" and makes a mockery of both, in its misunderstandings of both. Elitism however, is a poor weapon to fight anti-intellectualism, as it alienates and divides further.
Empathy, dialogue and gentle explication are a far better tool to reach those who feel threatened by "science". Much of my cynicism and need to be elitist has been curbed by having conversations and dialogue with other Christians about what science is and what it means to me. The friendship of a Christian in science can often dispel misunderstandings and the belief that the two callings are mutually exclusive.
Of course, dialogue means entering into conversation without expectation of a changed mind/heart/attitude from the other person. Useful dialogue is often just that--an exchange of ideas that often leads to no change, other than a deeper trust or respect.
Idealism
Idealism is another point of contention that cynics have with the church. It can be thought of in this way:
“God will never give you more than you can handle.” Some Christians dispense this phrase with such regularity that one would think it comes from Scripture (I think it is actually a distortion of Paul’s words on temptation in 1 Cor. 10:13). The opposite, however, seems to be more biblically true—God at times gives us way more than we can handle in order to drive us into a deeper dependence on him (“. . . we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. . . . But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead”—2 Cor. 1:8-9).
Idealism oozes out of our pulpits in the form of empty platitudes and trite sentimentality. It seeps out of well-meaning lips in hospital rooms and funeral parlors as we stretch for something cheery to say in the face of sickness and death. A great deal of sermon material can only work in safe and sanitized suburbs.
--the Gospel CoalitionIt is no wonder that it's hip to be cynical as a pushback to idealism. Anyone who is honest can see that we don't live in an ideal world. How often do we pretend that our churches aren't filled with hurting confused people? We can't hide here either. Cynicism acknowledges this, but to be useful, it needs to move past it into hope. Unfortunately, hope is hard. Hope is hard when there are innocents being killed and raped. Hope is hard when politics seem like just another vehicle for powerful people to make farcical decisions to advance their careers and names. Hope is hard.
What now?
Despite the difficulty of hope, I'd rather trade my cynicism for hopeful realism, and embracing the reality of a world and a church that are not ideal. Because when you're cynical, it's hard to care about solutions.
In case you wonder how dark a journey can be that results in hopeful realism, let me share something that I wrote recently to a friend:
My worry in penning this though is that it is satisfying some dark, human desire to seem realest-of-the-real to those that would read it, and somehow think better of me. For truly, that is what i desperately want. Still and always. This is why grace is difficult and why i distrust myself ever to receive it, because in my heart i know (think) that i don't need it. And I'm terrified that i will always feel this way. Calvinism and evangelicalism and the words of men/friends have no balm for this. I must admit it, i hate (have?) faith. i do not understand it and i do not trust it. i am suspicious of it. Its supposed simplicity and guilelessness seem nearly nefarious. What kind of Christian dares to say or think that? i'm no longer sure. God, this is hard. How does this happen?
...
My conception of faith stems from Hebrews: "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." This is problematic, because I find it difficult to be confident in something I'm hoping for. I guess that's the nature of faith: it must be blind. I don't know if it's faith that I hate, or if it's the fact that so few Christians have a problem with it. That, to be a good Christian, you must just be happy about faith, and the deeper your confidence in it the better...it just strikes me as false when I observe blind, unquestioned faith. I guess it feels like a cop out: "oh, I have faith, therefore I don't have to think about what that means... "Basically what you [my friend] said:
"When people talk about what God is teaching them through doubt, I have never understood that. Mostly, I wonder how full the glass has to be to tip the scales and "count" as faith."
Yeah! WTF? I think my problem is excessive cynicism and distrust...that kind of hurts the faith idea too.It was a low point for me, but I don't think it's faith that I hate. Faith is still tough for me, and I hope that at some point it's tough for everyone, because that means you care about getting it right, or at least better. I still think the answer is Jesus. It may be a buzzword, but hopeful realism is transforming my cynicism. Just being able to say that helps.
Jim Wallis says it this way:
Faith enables us to act in hope, despite how things look, and that's what can help make change finally occur and change how things look.
Reading
Is Christian Cynicism a Spiritual Sickness?
Putting Off Cynicism
The Post-Cynical Christian
7 Ways to Stop Being Cynical About Church
Post-Cynical Christianity
On Christian Cynicism
Embracing ‘Hopeful Realism’: Why Cynicism Is a Dead End and Idealism a Farce
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