Why Calvin?

I was 18.

My dad said something like "you should go to Calvin. I would like it if you went to Calvin, and we will help you."

Calvin College had a chemical engineering program, and at the time I told people that I wanted to study engineering at a Christian college. I told them that. I probably thought it. Probably.

I definitely went to Calvin because it offered chemical engineering, and I probably went because it was a Christian college--I grew up in a Christian community you see.

At this moment [actually a few years ago now], Calvin College is conducting Vision 2029. Vision 2029 is a college-wide program and forum aimed at asking good questions regarding the role and trajectory that Calvin will adopt.

Today I attended the panel discussion: “Will Calvin be a Comprehensive Liberal Arts College or a Liberal Arts University?”

Question that arose were "why Calvin?" and "what makes Calvin distinctive?" and "what are our non-negotiables?" with the required (and hopefully not overlooked) subtext: "what are the preceding for an 18 year old?"

I don't pretend to speak for the rest of 18 year olds in the history of 18 year olds considering Calvin, but for my part, that list contained three items:

1. chemical engineering*

2. attractive (reformed) women**

3. residence in the Christian bubble***

*Ok. Yes. Still very pleased about this one
**"The basis of optimism is sheer terror" --Oscar Wilde

***Not the desire for growth in my faith or a deep connection with Christ--more of a cultural imperative

Fortunately for me, I did attend Calvin despite a less than impressive (and retrospectively embarrassing) rationale.

There are many reasons I count myself fortunate for attending Calvin despite being an idiot 18 year old (many would say still an idiot 28 year old [I wrote this in the fall of 2017 and now return to publish it]). I value:

the paper I wrote (truly, truly) poorly analyzing Biblical themes in the 'Russian Primary Chronicle' for History of the West and the World I,

the physics seminars I attended to earn honors credit, and for which I wrote an insipid description of gravitational lenses in Introductory Physics: Mechanics and Gravity,

the immediate, thoughtful (and truly mind-blowing) criticism of the Bible, and exposure to a diverse body of scholarship and views regarding who Jesus was, as a first-semester freshman taking Biblical Literature and Theology,

attacking (engaging really) secular and Christian philosophy directly, with abandon, and without fear in Fundamental Questions in Philosophy with a man who gave us students dignity and the best example of a Christian intellectual I ever met,

an international internship which had me training, training, and planing about Europe and learning sophisticated industrial organic chemistry development in a foreign language (driving my eventual pursuit of graduate study),

and

a broad, functional knowledge of not just my own discipline of chemical engineering, but the ability to speak and work intelligently and effectively with other engineers and scientists in different fields.

As a senior in high school, I question that any of these would have thrilled me as they do now, even if I could now posit their existence to a past self. I recognize them now, after completing graduate study, and taking up teaching.

I certainly would not have relished the thought that, most importantly, Calvin prepared me well to lose my faith in graduate school. For that I am grateful--putting together the pieces of a shattered mess has given my resurrected faith a life it never had.

Vision 2029 will fail if it only addresses "why Calvin" and "what are our non-negotiables" for parents of prospective students that want them to come here. I believe that everyone will agree with me on that point, but to me it bears crying from the rooftops and not treating as a polite, obvious observation. Calvin was truly transformative for me in the most dramatic way after I left.

However it wasn't transformative in any of the ways I would have wanted it to be, or expected it to be as a prospective student.

We cannot foist perspective onto students, we can only give them the opportunities to earn it themselves--that begins with their introduction to Calvin as high school seniors. I wonder if it will take walking a line between humble self-promotion, and vulnerability rendered salient.

[2020 perspective]
The move to 'university' has been completed. Let's add ", or just calling ourselves a university." to the last sentence.
I just read a flowery and not particularly substantive vision of the university structure written for the internal Calvin community, and all it did was to confirm my bias against an ever expanding corps of college administrators projecting a disconnected vision. The questions posited in the aforementioned panel appear to be foregone conclusions looking back. I still value Calvin and the place it is, but I've been struck lately by a lot of self-congratulation and lip service paid, when simply creating relationships between departments and companies, organizations, etc. doing similar work (as an alternative to saying) pays the real bills to establish community and inclusion and brings value to students.

An emphatic no

Will Calvin be a Comprehensive Liberal Arts College or a Liberal Arts University?

This question was being considered at a panel discussion I attended last fall, and questions were being asked as to the questions we should ask when considering such a question. Ha! I know.

In the time between when I started this post and its publication the question has been answered: yes.

I concede that this question is relevant, valuable, and necessary to consider for the health of Calvin as it continues into the 21st century.

As an engineer I scream: "Calvin should not be a Liberal Arts University!!!!*"

*whatever L.A.U. means, and however you define it, which is still being worked out in earnest

Perhaps there is room for compromise: "engineering at Calvin should not be expected to expand into an R1 mode!!!!"

It feels like I'm deflecting from the question at hand, however I think the case of engineering maps reasonably well to the rest of the departments at Calvin.

Our engineering department is great at many things. We have dedicated, knowledgeable teachers who come from diverse industrial and academic backgrounds and disciplines. These women and men care deeply about engineering, love the discipline, and care for the health and edification of their students--faculty at R1 institutions also care deeply about their students, however their primary focus in many cases is facilitating excellent research programs, which is a beneficial yet fundamentally different aspect of education and the academy. The primary focus for Calvin faculty is not on grant applications and research program direction.

It's not about being approachable (the doors to faculty offices at R1's are open to students), but rather has to do with the focus of the faculty. Intention gets you far, but purpose is at the heart of Calvin's devotion to equipping students (recite it with me! with gusto!) to think deeply, to act justly, and to live wholeheartedly as Christ's agents of renewal in the world.

I loved the time I spent in graduate study at an R1 institution. It gave me an enormous appreciation for R1 institutions, and more so for the engineering program at Calvin College.

As a TA in engineering, it was clear that while undergraduate students were to be cared for, research was the focus and the important factor. I have never felt this sentiment at Calvin while as a student, nor while as a member of the teaching staff. We do excellent research here--it remains student-focused.

Calvin is good at letting students do any and all of the things they desire (though it may take a bit of time) because Calvin is hyper-permeable. Debra Rienstra, of the english department, made a great point about permeability in education, and allowing students the option to passionately study engineering and music, for example. This is so easy to do at Calvin--talented students do it often.

Personally I was able to pursue both chemical engineering and chemistry majors (a pairing that dovetails almost too easily) and felt integrated and welcomed in the chemistry department though my degree would ultimately be in engineering. I also personally know many students who have combined music with engineering, or public health, or literature--permeability!

The matter of purposeful student development is of real practical meaning and action to me. I taught at Calvin for a few years now and have found renewed purpose and academic redemption of sorts.

So what does Calvin gain? An excerpt from the official press release:

Le Roy says the rationale for Calvin becoming a university is strong, including Calvin’s strength, breadth, and depth of its academic programs; new opportunities for academic innovation; and the college’s increasing influence with students and higher education partners around the globe. The college also has a large international student population for whom “university” is more visible and better understood than “college.”
Calvin leaders also see the university structure combined with increased collaboration as creating a more prominent platform for the institution to express its mission through opportunities and innovation within and across disciplines, professional programs, and centers and institutes.

“A move to a university with a liberal arts foundation both names what we already do and liberates us to do that work better,” said Kevin den Dulk, political science professor at Calvin College and executive director of the Henry Institute. “I’m especially enthusiastic about using the university structure to expand our global reach, which is already considerable yet has a lot of room to grow.”

The bulk of the argument seems to hinge on recognition from international students. I understand the idea that with declining domestic enrollment, it will be key to bolster international recruitment and admissions. But surely reputation and name recognition go beyond the distinction between 'university' and 'college.' Are we now relying on a prospective student or parent to perk up at reading 'Calvin University' on print material, when 'Calvin College' would have caused them to merely gloss over it and move on? This is a weak premise to hang our hat on. Since I've heard 'international recognition' repeated more than almost any other talking point, I don't think this is a mischaracterization.

I truly don't see what the university structure of colleges versus departments will do to facilitate "increased collaboration" and innovation. Innovation and cross department collaboration have been happening for years: ISRx a project melding biology and chemistry departments, and the various interims and summer programs that unite business, engineering, and german programs are two prominent examples that have paid enormous dividends for the departments in question.

Finally let's consider the professional programs. From the standpoint of engineering, I just don't see where the funding is going to come from to provide for post-baccalaureate educational opportunities. Our engineering building is already at capacity hosting senior design team efforts. Where are the research facilities going to appear from for students to do thesis research on one or two year master of engineering programs? Where is the lab space going to open up for chemistry or biology PhD work? No one is arguing for an immediate ascent to R1 status of course, but I also haven't seen a coherent vision of what Calvin University will mean for the different departments/colleges. Certainly such a vision would not need to be set in stone, but I haven't heard even a whiff of a plan for my department, and that concerns me.

Calvin seems to be doing just fine without a 'university structure.' I truly hope that this choice was not made for feathering caps, and prestige.

We'll see what visions develop.

My Kindle 3 Review (Wifi and 3G)

I have had my Kindle for two weeks now and decided to comment on the process that resulted in its purchase.

I was deciding between the Kindle and iPod Touch. Both have internet and book capabilities and each shines in a particular area. As I am not properly acquainted with the Touch, I will only comment on the capabilities and features of the Kindle.

Reading on the Kindle has been very easy, and the formatting is quite nice. This is the main strength of the device and I have no cause for complaint there. Locating and buying books is also quite easy and can be completed in a matter of seconds.

What was of more concern to me as I was researching devices was the online capability of Kindle. I have since found that it handles the mobile versions of sites such as Facebook, Gmail and blogs quite well. I had hoped the device would be well suited for checking email and possibly answering in short replies. It has certainly met that, considering that I am typing this entry from the Kindle. I bought the 3G model and have had occasion to use it to find directions to a wedding, outside of wifi access. It is certainly slower that way but very functional.

The Kindle does not have all of the multimedia capabilities that the Touch may have but it proves itself as a very capable reading device with ancillary internet browsing ability.

This was not intended to be a thorough review, merely to say that the Kindle can do most of what the Touch can and some things better as long as it is remembered that it is primarily an Ereader.

Edit: 1/8/13
I've had the Kindle for almost two years now and I still love it. I've been reading it a lot lately and find it a fantastic device. The Kindle store has been receiving many of my hard earned pennies--it's so easy to find good books. Most of the books that I've wanted to read have been on here and those that aren't I can sometimes find elsewhere (paper isn't so bad after all).
Battery life is still great and it's nice to be able to use the internet on those emergency occasions. Other than that though, it's a little clunky, but the browser is "experimental" for a reason.
TL;DR...I like the Kindle3 and would buy it again in a heartbeat (or receive it as a graduation present, more accurately!).

Summer of 1862

May, too soon. There is just not enough time in the day. But my decisions have been made, some projects finished while others await completion. There is still no time.

Solace in the decision to attend Penn State, happy to meet new friends, yet somewhat doleful...

I've made the best of my time here academically, and I have no regrets about being with my friends or the times we've had. Balance is so terribly difficult to achieve, just try to reach that equilibrium and you will be eaten up. Try your best, live with it.

Conversations deepened through years as friendships have grown. And I'm glad. What does the future and transition hold? Heck if I know. I'm just happy to be in it and have the opportunity.

I just want to share some coffee with you.

Transitions

Hmmm...I haven't posted in a while. Life has been full though. Full of friends, school, preparation and seeing the rewards of hard work come to fruition. This will be an interesting year now, of that I'm sure. A simple decision will land me hundreds of miles either east or west for the next five years of my life. The friends I have made won't be next to me anymore, and their company will be missed.

Further study is an amazing opportunity and blessing for me--a way to use the skills that I've developed to expose new areas of human knowledge...or at least that's the hope. Well then, here I am, (at the end of the beginning),staring at the shrouded entrances to two potential futures, trusting in God's faithfulness. As much as I can.

Two Thirds

I am now about two-thirds through the most memorable summer of my life. In May I embarked with two other students to Germany where I have been working as an intern at Böhringer-Ingelheim, a pharmaceutical company. My German has been getting steadily better, but I worry about what will happen when I return to the States. The work and travel experiences that I have had here have been incredible, and I feel incredibly blessed to have this opportunity. Germany is a fantastic place, and I stand by my belief that it is the people that live in a place which makes it special. It was the same way with China, and I know that I will remember the people that I have interacted with much longer than I will ever remember the places that I have visited. The places are wonderful and beautiful, but the relationships much more so.

Cartwheeling through life

So Dave's bachelor party was pretty great last night (kudos Ben). Some great paintballing was done, welts were received all around and a good time was had. We retired to Brasser's house for pizza, gaming and spirits (some more than others). Hopefully Dave had as good a time as I did, for we both had to drive home, and I enjoyed myself immensely. This morning brought a great breakthrough in Wushu. I was able to perform some cartwheels for the first time...quite the accomplishment for my too-tall, rather uncoordinated body--pretty much the best moment of my life. We'll see how much I enjoy doing engineering homework for the rest of the weekend. Probably a lot.

As of two minutes ago: if one more person complains to me for me not being their partner for beer pong, I might have to take drastic measures.

Ein hundert

Apparently this is the hundredth time that I've attempted to communicate something on the internet via this space (probably 96 times too many). Today is Easter, praise God for the Resurrection! It's even a nice day outside today, which is rather fitting. This morning brought a combined breakfast with Open Bible and GRCCC. It was a great mix of Chinese and Western fare, with some new friends. Lixin was baptized today! They did immersion for the two younger people and sprinkling for the older two. That adds up to four baptisms! It was wonderful. I couldn't stop grinning :D. Also, lunch with Grandpa, Grandma and Nathan was delightful. That is all.

等一等! Jetzt, yo voy 走一走. Guten Nachmittag.

Mountain bikes are not for touring

Nathan and I went on our first longer bike ride of the year yesterday: from Calvin to Rockford via the White Pine trail. It was quite the beautiful day, and our fellow road dwellers weren't even being jerks. Knapp Street was delightfully downhill (which made me worried about the way back), and Riverside park was full of vim and vigor. We made it to Rockford just fine, and had some lunch/supper before heading back.

At the outset of our return trip however, it became apparent that we would have to battle a headwind the whole way back. Twas quite the trip, and like the title says, I have to implore you not to tour with a mountain bike, unless you want a good workout, which is what we got. In general though, it was a fantastic ride and rather enjoyable. I think it was about 40 miles round-trip; perfect for an afternoon jaunt.

Man sagt auf Deutsch: ich konnte gestern Rad fahren.

武術 (Wushu)

So I had my first Wushu lesson today. Wushu is one of the Chinese martial arts. It employs staffs and swords pretty often, but luckily today was just the basics for me, other than some of the more basic staff work. This is going to take a while. I can barely even get the warmups yet :). No matter, it will just take a lot of practice.


Alotalotalot...of practice.

I have the best friends

This is just a quick post, but I have to because I'm floored right now. This evening a couple of my housemates gave me a Chinese-English Bible as a belated birthday present. I was very much caught off guard and could not appreciate it more. I'm fortunate that God blessed me with amazing friends/housemates who are incredibly thoughful. Wo xihuan tamen henduo.

Gute Nacht, buenas noches, 晚安 and good night.

中国教会

I had the most delightful Sunday, kind of. Let me rephrase that. From 2:15pm-3:45pm was the most delightful time I've had in a while. Today I decided to go to Chinese Church instead of Ada Bible. The church is about a minute's walk from my house, which is convenient to be sure. I have some friends who go there, and apparently some I didn't even know go there. At the last minute I got Scott to go with me (he was literally driving in as I was leaving and decided to go on the spot), which was fun. I was ok with going alone, but it was great to have a housemate along.
Just like in China, the church was incredible hospitable. The pastor spoke to us for a while after the service (he's originally from Malaysia, just like Wen!) I was especially very happy to see Penny (Lixin), Yang and Yujing there; they are great.
The pastor who preached was visiting, and originally from Indonesia, so he knew three languages. Since it was the first Sunday of the month, it was in English and Mandarin instead of the typical headsets. The pastor spoke about the Bible as God's gift to us, and our most important tool.
There was food afterward as well, which reminded me of Chinese breakfast in Shanghai...yummy. I will be going back next week :)

Oh, and the title says Chinese church. The first two characters mean China (middle kingdom).

Rangeela 2010

Epic, wonderful, inspiring, beautiful. Oh, sorry, just describing Rangeela over here. It is a showcase of the many diverse cultures that Calvin is host to, put on by students. And it is awesome! One of my favorites was the Chinese act that combined a traditional fan dance, wushu martial arts sequence and an energetic Taiwanese hip-hop dance. I also enjoyed the Indonesian act, which had a kecak chanting sequence done by a small choir, accompanied by dance. These two were particularly interesting to me because I had experience Chinese culture in a very real way over interim (and knew some of the students) and had studied Indonesian music for my World Music class last year. It was cool to see an actual performance, even if it wasn't actually trance-induced ^_^. The last dance was great too. It was an African dance, all of the performers were dressed very colorfully and had lots of energy. I can't help but smile when I see all of the people up there. It's quite the event.

What makes you happy?

I like my roommate a lot, because he makes me think. Don't get me wrong, I think a lot. About heat transfer, thermodynamics and how to compute surface integrals. Those are all fine and good, but I think that other questions are usually more important.

On the way to Founders last night Mark asked, "Are you happy Steve?" Wow. I had to think about that (I think the question may have been in response to some of my bellyaching). I concluded that I was happy about some things and not others. The learning that I am able to do, and the problem solving are my favorite parts about studying at Calvin. Those parts that pertain to my future career. No problem there. The things I'm not happy about are maintaining a GPA at a certain level, trying to keep scholarships up and the constant nagging feeling that I should be working on hw, when I'm not. I think that these things have a place however; they help build character and mold you (just so long as you don't let them break you that is). I hope that I can keep asking myself this question with little deviation in answer.

That said, I think that we put too much stake in being happy. Perhaps fulfilled is a better way to be, or even are you in a position to make a real difference? I want to be both, but I'm not there yet.

How about you? Are you happy/fulfilled/doing something about something?

Una otra vez por favor!

Well, my time in China is done. I could not have enjoyed it more, in fact those were the most amazing 20 days of my life thus far. Immersion in another culture was amazing, especially in one so foreign to me. We're back now though and another semester must begin. It's been nice to be back in the house; I really enjoy living with these guys. Thus far the semester is looking pretty ok. I'm very much enjoying my German class as well as the engineering workload. This Monday I even did something crazy: instead of sitting in my room and doing hw all night, I went out and hung with new and old friends. Can you imagine that? This semester should be a little less busy for me, so I might have a social life for the first time in years. We'll see how this goes.

Tschüss.

P.S. Shrews in haus; woher kommen sie?

Alzheimer's

The loss of memory, a sense of self and knowledge of family is devastating. Similarly is it devastating to watch a loved one slowly succumb, knowing that nothing can be done. To see them confused, trying desperately to remember details, names and faces that once were ingrained, seemingly impossible to forget. For all of the anguish you feel for them, their experience is all the worse, you can't even understand. It's heartbreaking, but you give them a hug and talk all the same. I almost think it's worse in the middle, because the realization is there, that something is not right, that there is something missing. They know what is happening, but they know that there is nothing to be done. Everyone knows, but everyone is powerless, except to be a shoulder, to be a hug, to comfort. To comfort once, twice and many many more times. But that is what is family is for.

We went to clean the house today. Sometimes it seems we will be cleaning that place for years. I don't know how to end this post so I think I'll just leave it at that.

Anticipation

In contrast to the wonderful time I've had with friends and family over break so far, I started thinking about anticipation (we did not used to be friends). For a while I've wanted to get some of these thoughts down as a manner of coming to terms with myself and closing a chapter of my life.

What comes to my mind most when I think about anticipation is all of the negative experiences I had as a child. My most vivid memory of anticipation was for a trip I took with the "Travel" class in sixth grade. It was an exploratory course that looked into how and why we traveled. The most enjoyable part of the class was to be a trip we would take at the end. It was very short and simple because of the non-existent budget the class had: a train ride on the Amtrak from Grand Rapids to Holland. Perhaps one of the safest ways to travel. However the night beforehand was one of the worst nights of my life. I was up for most of it, my insides churning and my mind despairing of any of the painful deaths to which I could imagine myself succumbing (thinking about it now though, there are really only two, derailing and collision, both extremely unlikely, oh well). For me, as a child, the new and unknown were the worst thing I could be put through. They were to be feared (think swimming lessons) and shunned because they represented uncertainty. It was hard to grapple with the notion that not everything I would experience was something I had done before or could handle with ease. This is a very constricting way to live, which is probably why I spent my time reading about people who did the things I was afraid to do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my childhood, and the time I spent going to other galaxies and doing crazy things through reading, but it was really more of a defense mechanism than anything else.

What caused me to consider all of this is my upcoming trip to China. Having never flown before, I immediately considered thoughts of being lost in any number of places and having everything stolen. Reverting to the instinctual fear. But the funny thing about new things is that because you don't know everything beforehand, there is incredible opportunity. That is the flip side of the coin I have never seen. Considering that, I rethought it a bit: I'm fortunate enough to have the opportunity to fly halfway around the world to visit a country I've only heard of, to see things I've only seen in pictures and to experience a culture like I never have before. I may never have a chance to do his again. Wow, that's kind of entirely different. Could I get lost, dismembered, fed to pigs and forgotten in doing so? Perhaps, but at very least it will be a new experience and I'll probably be surprised enough that having my body rent asunder won't bother me much.

But seriously, I think it's time to embrace the new. Look the unknown in the face, wish it a good day and inquire when tea will be served. We'll see how this goes. (Even more seriously, if you hear about any mass dismembering in China, please let me know.)

True-ish to form

It seems like after each semester is done, I will inevitably dream about failing at least one of my classes. Let's be clear, that didn't happen this year. I'll keep this short in the interest of not boring you.

I was driving with Joel O. in a desert. He was using the wheel, I was working the pedals and we were both sitting in the drivers seat, which is impossible considering that neither of us is the least bit small. I ran a stop-sign for some reason and became angry at Joel when I got the ticket, even though there was nothing he could have possibly done about it.

Considering the amount of dreams we have, compared to the amount of dreams we actually remember, I think I'm getting jipped here. The next time I dream, I demand to recall cross-country skiing with polar bears through the streets of Hudsonville while pulling tricks in the air from jumping off of houses. The polar bears will be equipped with lasers and be playing acoustic guitars real mellow-like (I'm thinking Valley Winter Song by Fountains of Wayne). None of this getting a ticket or failing of classes nonsense.

More than your last retreat

Here is a recipe that will lead to success every time:

Get a cup of coffee + hot chocolate,

wear a warm hoody,

listen to "More Than a Memory" or "Rocking Chair" by P.W. Gopal,

look at a picture of the Straits of Mackinac covered in ice,

imagine you are kayaking beneath the bridge in the summertime.

(a liberal portion of sappiness should also be applied)

That is all...no apologies or excuses.

Feeling Blessed

I thank God that I can live with great friends.

That I can use the intellect that I have been given, no matter how modest.

That my housing situation has been solved and that the worry of having to move has been taken care of (by a move, which went smoothly).

That I can be happily single, and recognize that what happens will happen.

That I have the opportunities to travel abroad extensively in the near future.

That I can worship without fear.

That I can listen to wonderful music.

That I can be transparent and not worry about being judged.

I've been listening to P.W. Gopal, the man who was the music leader at Castaway a few summers back when I was privileged to go there with some awesome guys. These are his lyrics:

You were sent to remind me of faithful things
That there are mountains beneath the sea that I'll never see
That were put in place with gentle hands
Knowing you and I will climb - we'll climb and stand
And let all His grace, let all His grace remind me
--Remind Me



Also, based on the size of his arms, I'm guessing he can lift and perhaps toss about many, many heavy things.