Transitions

Hmmm...I haven't posted in a while. Life has been full though. Full of friends, school, preparation and seeing the rewards of hard work come to fruition. This will be an interesting year now, of that I'm sure. A simple decision will land me hundreds of miles either east or west for the next five years of my life. The friends I have made won't be next to me anymore, and their company will be missed.

Further study is an amazing opportunity and blessing for me--a way to use the skills that I've developed to expose new areas of human knowledge...or at least that's the hope. Well then, here I am, (at the end of the beginning),staring at the shrouded entrances to two potential futures, trusting in God's faithfulness. As much as I can.

Two Thirds

I am now about two-thirds through the most memorable summer of my life. In May I embarked with two other students to Germany where I have been working as an intern at Böhringer-Ingelheim, a pharmaceutical company. My German has been getting steadily better, but I worry about what will happen when I return to the States. The work and travel experiences that I have had here have been incredible, and I feel incredibly blessed to have this opportunity. Germany is a fantastic place, and I stand by my belief that it is the people that live in a place which makes it special. It was the same way with China, and I know that I will remember the people that I have interacted with much longer than I will ever remember the places that I have visited. The places are wonderful and beautiful, but the relationships much more so.

Cartwheeling through life

So Dave's bachelor party was pretty great last night (kudos Ben). Some great paintballing was done, welts were received all around and a good time was had. We retired to Brasser's house for pizza, gaming and spirits (some more than others). Hopefully Dave had as good a time as I did, for we both had to drive home, and I enjoyed myself immensely. This morning brought a great breakthrough in Wushu. I was able to perform some cartwheels for the first time...quite the accomplishment for my too-tall, rather uncoordinated body--pretty much the best moment of my life. We'll see how much I enjoy doing engineering homework for the rest of the weekend. Probably a lot.

As of two minutes ago: if one more person complains to me for me not being their partner for beer pong, I might have to take drastic measures.

Ein hundert

Apparently this is the hundredth time that I've attempted to communicate something on the internet via this space (probably 96 times too many). Today is Easter, praise God for the Resurrection! It's even a nice day outside today, which is rather fitting. This morning brought a combined breakfast with Open Bible and GRCCC. It was a great mix of Chinese and Western fare, with some new friends. Lixin was baptized today! They did immersion for the two younger people and sprinkling for the older two. That adds up to four baptisms! It was wonderful. I couldn't stop grinning :D. Also, lunch with Grandpa, Grandma and Nathan was delightful. That is all.

等一等! Jetzt, yo voy 走一走. Guten Nachmittag.

Mountain bikes are not for touring

Nathan and I went on our first longer bike ride of the year yesterday: from Calvin to Rockford via the White Pine trail. It was quite the beautiful day, and our fellow road dwellers weren't even being jerks. Knapp Street was delightfully downhill (which made me worried about the way back), and Riverside park was full of vim and vigor. We made it to Rockford just fine, and had some lunch/supper before heading back.

At the outset of our return trip however, it became apparent that we would have to battle a headwind the whole way back. Twas quite the trip, and like the title says, I have to implore you not to tour with a mountain bike, unless you want a good workout, which is what we got. In general though, it was a fantastic ride and rather enjoyable. I think it was about 40 miles round-trip; perfect for an afternoon jaunt.

Man sagt auf Deutsch: ich konnte gestern Rad fahren.

武術 (Wushu)

So I had my first Wushu lesson today. Wushu is one of the Chinese martial arts. It employs staffs and swords pretty often, but luckily today was just the basics for me, other than some of the more basic staff work. This is going to take a while. I can barely even get the warmups yet :). No matter, it will just take a lot of practice.


Alotalotalot...of practice.

I have the best friends

This is just a quick post, but I have to because I'm floored right now. This evening a couple of my housemates gave me a Chinese-English Bible as a belated birthday present. I was very much caught off guard and could not appreciate it more. I'm fortunate that God blessed me with amazing friends/housemates who are incredibly thoughful. Wo xihuan tamen henduo.

Gute Nacht, buenas noches, 晚安 and good night.

中国教会

I had the most delightful Sunday, kind of. Let me rephrase that. From 2:15pm-3:45pm was the most delightful time I've had in a while. Today I decided to go to Chinese Church instead of Ada Bible. The church is about a minute's walk from my house, which is convenient to be sure. I have some friends who go there, and apparently some I didn't even know go there. At the last minute I got Scott to go with me (he was literally driving in as I was leaving and decided to go on the spot), which was fun. I was ok with going alone, but it was great to have a housemate along.
Just like in China, the church was incredible hospitable. The pastor spoke to us for a while after the service (he's originally from Malaysia, just like Wen!) I was especially very happy to see Penny (Lixin), Yang and Yujing there; they are great.
The pastor who preached was visiting, and originally from Indonesia, so he knew three languages. Since it was the first Sunday of the month, it was in English and Mandarin instead of the typical headsets. The pastor spoke about the Bible as God's gift to us, and our most important tool.
There was food afterward as well, which reminded me of Chinese breakfast in Shanghai...yummy. I will be going back next week :)

Oh, and the title says Chinese church. The first two characters mean China (middle kingdom).

Rangeela 2010

Epic, wonderful, inspiring, beautiful. Oh, sorry, just describing Rangeela over here. It is a showcase of the many diverse cultures that Calvin is host to, put on by students. And it is awesome! One of my favorites was the Chinese act that combined a traditional fan dance, wushu martial arts sequence and an energetic Taiwanese hip-hop dance. I also enjoyed the Indonesian act, which had a kecak chanting sequence done by a small choir, accompanied by dance. These two were particularly interesting to me because I had experience Chinese culture in a very real way over interim (and knew some of the students) and had studied Indonesian music for my World Music class last year. It was cool to see an actual performance, even if it wasn't actually trance-induced ^_^. The last dance was great too. It was an African dance, all of the performers were dressed very colorfully and had lots of energy. I can't help but smile when I see all of the people up there. It's quite the event.

What makes you happy?

I like my roommate a lot, because he makes me think. Don't get me wrong, I think a lot. About heat transfer, thermodynamics and how to compute surface integrals. Those are all fine and good, but I think that other questions are usually more important.

On the way to Founders last night Mark asked, "Are you happy Steve?" Wow. I had to think about that (I think the question may have been in response to some of my bellyaching). I concluded that I was happy about some things and not others. The learning that I am able to do, and the problem solving are my favorite parts about studying at Calvin. Those parts that pertain to my future career. No problem there. The things I'm not happy about are maintaining a GPA at a certain level, trying to keep scholarships up and the constant nagging feeling that I should be working on hw, when I'm not. I think that these things have a place however; they help build character and mold you (just so long as you don't let them break you that is). I hope that I can keep asking myself this question with little deviation in answer.

That said, I think that we put too much stake in being happy. Perhaps fulfilled is a better way to be, or even are you in a position to make a real difference? I want to be both, but I'm not there yet.

How about you? Are you happy/fulfilled/doing something about something?

Una otra vez por favor!

Well, my time in China is done. I could not have enjoyed it more, in fact those were the most amazing 20 days of my life thus far. Immersion in another culture was amazing, especially in one so foreign to me. We're back now though and another semester must begin. It's been nice to be back in the house; I really enjoy living with these guys. Thus far the semester is looking pretty ok. I'm very much enjoying my German class as well as the engineering workload. This Monday I even did something crazy: instead of sitting in my room and doing hw all night, I went out and hung with new and old friends. Can you imagine that? This semester should be a little less busy for me, so I might have a social life for the first time in years. We'll see how this goes.

Tschüss.

P.S. Shrews in haus; woher kommen sie?

Alzheimer's

The loss of memory, a sense of self and knowledge of family is devastating. Similarly is it devastating to watch a loved one slowly succumb, knowing that nothing can be done. To see them confused, trying desperately to remember details, names and faces that once were ingrained, seemingly impossible to forget. For all of the anguish you feel for them, their experience is all the worse, you can't even understand. It's heartbreaking, but you give them a hug and talk all the same. I almost think it's worse in the middle, because the realization is there, that something is not right, that there is something missing. They know what is happening, but they know that there is nothing to be done. Everyone knows, but everyone is powerless, except to be a shoulder, to be a hug, to comfort. To comfort once, twice and many many more times. But that is what is family is for.

We went to clean the house today. Sometimes it seems we will be cleaning that place for years. I don't know how to end this post so I think I'll just leave it at that.

Anticipation

In contrast to the wonderful time I've had with friends and family over break so far, I started thinking about anticipation (we did not used to be friends). For a while I've wanted to get some of these thoughts down as a manner of coming to terms with myself and closing a chapter of my life.

What comes to my mind most when I think about anticipation is all of the negative experiences I had as a child. My most vivid memory of anticipation was for a trip I took with the "Travel" class in sixth grade. It was an exploratory course that looked into how and why we traveled. The most enjoyable part of the class was to be a trip we would take at the end. It was very short and simple because of the non-existent budget the class had: a train ride on the Amtrak from Grand Rapids to Holland. Perhaps one of the safest ways to travel. However the night beforehand was one of the worst nights of my life. I was up for most of it, my insides churning and my mind despairing of any of the painful deaths to which I could imagine myself succumbing (thinking about it now though, there are really only two, derailing and collision, both extremely unlikely, oh well). For me, as a child, the new and unknown were the worst thing I could be put through. They were to be feared (think swimming lessons) and shunned because they represented uncertainty. It was hard to grapple with the notion that not everything I would experience was something I had done before or could handle with ease. This is a very constricting way to live, which is probably why I spent my time reading about people who did the things I was afraid to do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my childhood, and the time I spent going to other galaxies and doing crazy things through reading, but it was really more of a defense mechanism than anything else.

What caused me to consider all of this is my upcoming trip to China. Having never flown before, I immediately considered thoughts of being lost in any number of places and having everything stolen. Reverting to the instinctual fear. But the funny thing about new things is that because you don't know everything beforehand, there is incredible opportunity. That is the flip side of the coin I have never seen. Considering that, I rethought it a bit: I'm fortunate enough to have the opportunity to fly halfway around the world to visit a country I've only heard of, to see things I've only seen in pictures and to experience a culture like I never have before. I may never have a chance to do his again. Wow, that's kind of entirely different. Could I get lost, dismembered, fed to pigs and forgotten in doing so? Perhaps, but at very least it will be a new experience and I'll probably be surprised enough that having my body rent asunder won't bother me much.

But seriously, I think it's time to embrace the new. Look the unknown in the face, wish it a good day and inquire when tea will be served. We'll see how this goes. (Even more seriously, if you hear about any mass dismembering in China, please let me know.)

True-ish to form

It seems like after each semester is done, I will inevitably dream about failing at least one of my classes. Let's be clear, that didn't happen this year. I'll keep this short in the interest of not boring you.

I was driving with Joel O. in a desert. He was using the wheel, I was working the pedals and we were both sitting in the drivers seat, which is impossible considering that neither of us is the least bit small. I ran a stop-sign for some reason and became angry at Joel when I got the ticket, even though there was nothing he could have possibly done about it.

Considering the amount of dreams we have, compared to the amount of dreams we actually remember, I think I'm getting jipped here. The next time I dream, I demand to recall cross-country skiing with polar bears through the streets of Hudsonville while pulling tricks in the air from jumping off of houses. The polar bears will be equipped with lasers and be playing acoustic guitars real mellow-like (I'm thinking Valley Winter Song by Fountains of Wayne). None of this getting a ticket or failing of classes nonsense.

More than your last retreat

Here is a recipe that will lead to success every time:

Get a cup of coffee + hot chocolate,

wear a warm hoody,

listen to "More Than a Memory" or "Rocking Chair" by P.W. Gopal,

look at a picture of the Straits of Mackinac covered in ice,

imagine you are kayaking beneath the bridge in the summertime.

(a liberal portion of sappiness should also be applied)

That is all...no apologies or excuses.

Feeling Blessed

I thank God that I can live with great friends.

That I can use the intellect that I have been given, no matter how modest.

That my housing situation has been solved and that the worry of having to move has been taken care of (by a move, which went smoothly).

That I can be happily single, and recognize that what happens will happen.

That I have the opportunities to travel abroad extensively in the near future.

That I can worship without fear.

That I can listen to wonderful music.

That I can be transparent and not worry about being judged.

I've been listening to P.W. Gopal, the man who was the music leader at Castaway a few summers back when I was privileged to go there with some awesome guys. These are his lyrics:

You were sent to remind me of faithful things
That there are mountains beneath the sea that I'll never see
That were put in place with gentle hands
Knowing you and I will climb - we'll climb and stand
And let all His grace, let all His grace remind me
--Remind Me



Also, based on the size of his arms, I'm guessing he can lift and perhaps toss about many, many heavy things.

Cold falls

It sprinkles down in little pieces,
resting on my head and shoulders, a blanket.
Nestled in the crevices it fills the folds,
and spills over, falling away in patches.

Dampness begins almost immediately,
where my flesh is left to the air;
tiny crystals melting into a trickle,
a river of molten ice running down my back.

How exhilarating to feel life coursing so,
to feel alive and free and real and right.
The directions to this happy place are simple:
embrace the earth and make your angels of snow.

The Yellow Windows of the Evening Train

The day was passing class by class;
mind filled with Hawthorne and Gibbs.
It was rather prosaic a fall afternoon,
but for the door that opened to me.

Dark brown hair dangled freely,
a frame housing lovely features.
Exquisite to behold, quite the dame,
these are words that go together well.

But for such a rare moment,
it was not unlike any other day.

between the lashes of your eyes

This is what you shall do:
Love the earth and sun and the animals,
Despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,
Stand up for the stupid and crazy,
Devote your income and labors to others,
Hate tyrants, argue not concerning God,
Have patience and indulgence toward the people,
Take off your hat to nothing known or unknown,
Or to any man or number of men,
Go freely with powerful uneducated persons,
And with the young and with the mothers of families,
Read these leaves in the open air,
Every season of every year of your life,
Reexamine all you have been told,
At school at church or in any book,
Dismiss whatever insults your own soul,
And your very flesh shall be a great poem,
And have the richest fluency not only in its words,
But in the silent lines of its lips and face,
And between the lashes of your eyes,
And in every motion and joint of your body.
--Walt Whitman

I was reading "Leaves of Grass" last year, during a Chem lab I think, when I came upon this passage, which is an absolute delight (they should probably make a commercial for bluejeans with it or something). I stumbled upon a representation of it today, which jogged my memory, so naturally I had to share it. There's not necessarily a particular line that I can pick out as a "good" one. The whole passage comes as a package. What it comes down to, is that I want to be this poem.

Largely, I think this passage is Biblical as well. Whitman certainly didn't intend it to be, but except for "argue not concerning God" (anti-evangelism maybe?), I think that Jesus lived each line of the poem. His life was a great poem in the way he lived it, in order to die for us. As Christ followers, the life we live should have the "richest fluency" not in the language of men, but of God.

¡A Alemania!

Voy a vivir y trabajar en Alemania durante el proximo verano! Tengo un puesto de interno con una compania se llama Boehringer Ingelheim en Ingleheim, Alemania. Es una compania de farmaceuticos. Recibi las noticias hoy, de mi profesor. Es en Alemania ahora, con mi jeffe futuro. Hasta hoy, solo he viajado a Canada, en terminos de otros paises. Asi, estoy muy emocionado para ir a Europa y vivir solo conmigo.

Puedo communicar en espanol con un poco dificultad, de mis quatro anos en la escuela secondaria. Pero aleman no es espanol. Ahora tengo la opportunidad aprender una otra lengua, y para mi, es el parte mas fantastico (y tambien la cultura y la compania y viviendo en un otro pais con extranjeros).

My mind traces the steps, passed over so many times,
etched into memory, they leap out, concrete.
VanBuren, Marlin, childhood stomping grounds;
dreams of following jets to unknown places.

We would lie on the grass, having vanquished our imaginary foes,
and see their trails stretch across the sky.
Inklings of other times, places, to be explored someday,
under circumstances more Franklin and less Bond.

What business has a boy from the salad city,
tracing the steps of humanity, history?
His business is wisdom,
and the development of his frail mind.