Mighty to Save [the wretch that I am]

Everyone needs compassion
Love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

We sang this song in Cincinnati last year with a bunch of other high school youth groups who were serving in the area. It was a powerful atmosphere, which gave an emotional high, but I think that can be dangerous sometimes. The words have deep meaning, and when we sing them, we are making some strong statements. The song acknowledges our need, something I have trouble with personally, and I know I'm not alone. The words are from a person who is broken. I don't know if we know how broken we really are. My hope for this year in Cincinnati is that the students (and us leaders) see God moving through the other members of the group, through their brokenness and inadequacies. I hope that our hearts are broken by the things that break God's heart, to take a page out of Justin's book.

Hoy

Today summer began. A new job, doing new things. I suppose that it was about time. I'm a junior now, I will try my hardest not to act like one.

I got wiring loose inside my head
I got books that I never, ever read
I got secrets in my garden shed
I got a scar where all my urges bled
I got people underneath my bed
I got a place where all my dreams are dead
Swim with me into your blackest eyes

Tonight it rained. So we ran. The drops cooled and drenched us utterly. It was liberating; steaming we ran, feet pounding the pavement, underscored by the soft hush of precipitation. Tomorrow comes quickly and sleep is relentless. Buenas noches.

Transitions [alternately: Mind spewings]

School is done, and half of my undergraduate life is complete. Perhaps not complete, but completed. There are things I have not done, people I have not met and methods I have not learned...leading me to the conclusion that I am human. I miss the floor, camaraderie, tricking and being. Those men are my family. I will see some again, but for now they are missed.

I must have time for two families, perhaps three, and summer is for those who birthed and developed me. For them I give thanks. I give thanks as I wait for my marks, worrying about the half results I have received and wondering, what errors may I have made. I enjoy them while I can, before another semester of learning draws nigh. Time spent with family is never lost and each moment must be welcomed at whatever cost.

A third thing I ponder as summer approaches, much less consequential or maybe far more. I see couples cavorting, enjoying themselves (a friend now engaged!?!). I have no one to empty myself to, to tell all my secrets. To comfort, to hold and know all is well. Mayhaps she will come (mayhaps is no word), mayhaps I was not meant to find such a girl. Mayhaps my mutterings on this wired journal are my only consolation. This I doubt though, I will have to make time, for I feel that there is one out there for even me.

For now I put these thoughts to rest and will soon venture out. The lawn must be mowed, and there is work to be done. And tonight, my brother and I will...jog.

Hello net trolls [Read: human race]

Whenever I am feeling inadequate or particularly lame, I go online and read the comments section following most any article. The emotional distance between the people that comment and between the commenters and author is so incredibly large that everyone feels free to be a pompous @$$hole. Unfortunately, a side effect of this self-medication is a loss of faith in the human race as a collective. The internet needs more Youtube-like voice playback features. Or fewer humans.

today

mellifluous. is full of sunshine. conversations(questionable). hella tight. engr 204. laconic phrases. living our faith together. epic mario kart. jokes. organic chem. kinderen. irresponsible. sang real. consecutivas noches de futbol. her. idiosyncratic symbolism. soccer. played freebird almost :). ridiculous good friends. eat the rice at your own risk. talk. to. you...save it for later!