Sunday, September 21, 2008


Now playing: George Frideric Handel - No. 1: Overture/The Messiah [Explicit]
via FoxyTunes
Strange as it may sound, I'm currently listening to Handel's Messiah. I guess I just needed a classical fix or something. The thing that struck me though, was the opening overture, because the instant I heard those notes it brought me back to riding in my dad's old Plymouth Acclaim, with the windows cracked yet too hot because it had no air-conditioning. It may have been uncomfortable and annoying then, but today it serves as a huge comfort to know that times indeed were simpler and less chaotic. There were no employment worries, concerns about future endeavors, all I had to worry about was readying myself for piano lessons...ha. Of course times weren't perfect, and certainly there was turmoil, but I guess the comfort in looking back, is that the unimportant things can be forgotten. Maybe I'll look back on today and think comforting thoughts about my simple college life. I hope so.

As an aside, I think it's hilarious that the overture was tagged explicit by whatever software processed it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Speech Recognition + perl = FAIL!

This is a video of a guy trying to use Vista's voice recognition software to write a script in perl. One of my favorite videos evar! It had me tearing up at some points.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Dear Don,

Don, you were one of those people that I got, and that I think got me back. Sarcastic, spouting comic genius, always good for a laugh. We knew what was ok to joke about and what wasn't, where the line was. You flirted with the line, coached our team well as we were developing and gave us confidence. From trivia to friendly derision, lunges to the T.C.U. and M.S.U. drills, you encouraged us to be our best. Your smile was contagious, your laugh even more so and your wit inspired. As a tennis coach, friend, owner of sting-rays, psychology enthusiast, tennis player and much much more, you will be missed. The angels are rejoicing, and you're at peace, but I just can't believe that you're gone...

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Shrew: A midnight adventure

Chase begins a few moments before the witching hour when small furry creature falls out of rumpled up shirt. Both are confused...creature by light, human by creature. They freeze, wondering where light, animal came from. Vermin makes first move and scurries from view, human traps vermin in shirt, still confused. The rodent decides that it has spent enough time on the bathroom floor and scurries into the room of the aforementioned, utterly confused biped. The little ball of fur floors it into the carpeted bedroom and dives into a stack of linens. Human begins taking apart pile intent on capture...but he cannot find the stealthy varmint. This is when, quarry lost, all good hunters do the same thing, they find the master tracker...father. Upon waking and learning of the sorex araneus problem, the veteran grabs his weaponry: dinner plate and coolwhip containers. After an arduous night time search under furniture and other floorbound items, the hunt is nearly called off, until the rookie notices the quarry innocently pondering its existence in the corner of the room where it first entered. Suddenly the furrball is backed into another corner, bolts left, bolts right, dodges the artistry of the skilled, and finds itself back into the well lit water closet. This is his final hour, as the dutch tupperware is tossed through the air, received and promptly slammed down on the crafty vermin. Success, plate slides under trap, guaranteeing the capture of the silly little beast. Minutes later, shrew meets pavement at 25 miles per hour. Goodbye cruel world.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Excerpts from my boss this summer (Timisms)

1. Literally
The word literally is ok to use literally whenever and wherever possible. It's best if there are no elements of the statement that can be taken figuratively...literally. (e.g. "my dad literally played with my two dogs")

2. Cannibalize
This term can be responsibly used to reference taking apart don't even have to be consuming the corpse of a member of your own species. (e.g. "we'll just cannibalize ground timmer")( bonus example..."i'll just cannibalize that vacuum)

3. Misnomer
It's just another word for misconception, mistake or problem. Heck he'd probably even use it for misname if he got the chance. (e.g. "we've got a big misnomer on our hands gentlemen")

4. Sergio, did you get with Mercy on those mattresses?
Self-explanatory...and of course out of context, but still merits mention.

5. Worked for 100+ years
The man has worked 3 factory jobs for eight years each, JCPenney security, the military (instructor, soldier, musician various branches), construction worker, Catholic school janitor, security consultant and of course Calvin College building services supervisor...there are more, I just can't remember them all. (this just in...following Calvin, he could be doing some cattle ranching down in Texas)

6. Repelling
He always repelled out of helicopters for his sniper jaunts with his 70 lb rifle, never once did he rapel like normal people.

7. Beaner, bitch
It's ok for supervisors or anyone to refer to people from Mexico as 'beaners' and female workers as bitches.

8. Cattle prods
He gives them to his babysitters...for protection.

9. Lisa, Shay-Wen, Leia
There were never people named Lisa, Shay-Wen or Leia on the crew this summer...way to be good sports Alisa, Chia-Wen and Leah.

10. Jeez o' Pete
The misnomer here is that he combined two common exclamatory phrases. Literally.